Somatic sex education

The core of my work as a Somatic Sex educator / Sexological Bodyworker is to assist the client to become more embodied, more present and empowered in their own sensuality.

Embodiment is foundational for growth, transformation, and learning erotic skills.

From an embodied and aware state, a client can direct their own learning with my encouragement, guidance and presence.


Somatic Sex Education / Sexological Bodywork™ is somatic, erotic education that assists individuals and couples to deepen their experience of embodiment. Sexological Bodywork™ teaches through body experiences designed to nurture, deepen and awaken the sensual self. 

These experiences can include coaching in breath, movement, body awareness, boundary-setting, communication, anatomy, sensate focus, massage, erotic trance and other body-based teaching about sex.    Sources:  Association of Sexological BodyworkersEroSpirit – Caffyn Jesse


We all consciously or unconsciously set limits on the quantity and quality of pleasure we can embody.

Limits to pleasure are ubiquitous in a culture that shames sexuality and fails to teach us how to honor and celebrate erotic energy. Sexual wounding becomes embedded in the body’s tissues and responses. Somatic Sex Education / Sexological Bodywork™ can assist you in expanding the pleasure that is possible. This expansion has physical, emotional, mental and spiritual components. Sources:  Association of Sexological BodyworkersEroSpirit – Caffyn Jesse


Common reasons clients seek to work with me

  • Premature ejaculation
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Inability to orgasm
  • Vaginal pain or tightness; vaginismus
  • Loss of libido or desire
  • Fear of sex & other forms of intimacy
  • Shame of pleasure and intimacy 
  • Regaining sexual function and enjoyment after sexual trauma; childbirth; surgery
  • Improving body image
  • Embracing femininity / masculinity
  • Emotional or physical numbness
  • Improving the ability to have loving relationships
  • Improving intimate communication
  • Couples wanting to improve their sex life
  • Individuals and couples wanting to experience divine intimacy
  • Individual or couples who want to expand their range for pleasure and fulfillment

Why Choose Somatic Sex Education / Sexological Bodywork™?

Many of us have had unpleasant sexual experiences or harbor feelings of guilt and embarrassment about embracing our sexuality. Maybe we’ve had experiences that caused us to lose trust and close off our hearts. These feelings and experiences are stored in our body’s ‘emotional database’ and can inhibit our sexual pleasure and fulfillment until we learn how to clear them out.

By re-aligning our body and mind through Somatic Sex Education / Sexological Bodywork™, we also reconnect with our heart, and can embrace our sexual wholeness with authentic delight, opening up a world of pleasure, passion and joyful intimacy.

Client checklist for Working with a Somatic Sex Educator

Client checklist for Working with a Somatic Sex Educator

There are several factors that can have an impact on a person’s ability to work effectively with a Somatic Sex Educator. This checklist doesn’t claim to be all someone needs to consider when they are contemplating working with a Somatic Sex Educator. It is provided as a starting point.

Self-care after a session is as important as what happens during sessions with a Somatic Sex Educator. Some of the items in the following list offer guidance about what clients can do to integrate healing and wholeness.

□ Do you have a support system? It’s important to have support for your journey in addition to your Somatic Sex Educator. Consider your inner and outer resources and the people and animals who are in your life. Who can you talk with about this work?

□ Are you ready emotionally? The process of discovering, identifying, releasing and healing from sexual abuse or neglect is powerful. It can feel like your world is being turned upside down. Profound emotions can be released, and have a big impact on your life.

□ Are you ready physically? Will your physical health, diet, exercise, and sleep routines support you through the process? When physical health issues are present, be sure to consult with your doctor to make sure you are not neglecting important medical treatments. Let your Somatic Sex Educator know of any medications with side-effects that may influence your state of mind or emotions during sessions.

□ Are you ready mentally? How do you react to challenges? What happens in your mind when you feel triggered? It is important to establish a practice of mindfully witnessing thought patterns associated with your sexuality before engaging in a program of Somatic Sex Education focused on body-based learning. Practices like meditation, journaling, prayer and personal nurturing can be important for people on this journey.

□ Do you have enough time? A journey to sexual wholeness is not a simple process. Be wary of anyone promising simple solutions or techniques that will miraculously “make everything better” and heal your wounds.

In addition to time for your sessions with a Somatic Sex Educator, you must also give yourself adequate time to process and integrate what your sessions reveal or trigger. “Homework” given to you by your Somatic Sex Educator will likely form an important part of your journey to wholeness.

□ Can you afford a series of sessions? There can be a significant cost involved to complete a program of Somatic Sex Education, which could take several months or more. Each client is unique, so the time it takes and the number of sessions needed to complete a learning process are different for each person.

□ Have you found a Somatic Sex Educator you feel good about? Check out a Somatic Sex Educator’s qualifications, experience and reputation. Interview a potential practitioner to see if you feel they are a good fit for you. Many Somatic Sex Educators offer a complimentary 10-minute call or Skype session. If you have reached the point where sexual healing and wholeness feels imperative for you, then trust that your due diligence and intuition will lead you to the right people to work with.

□ Are you able to speak up if things feel wrong? The majority of Somatic Sex Educators are well-qualified, trustworthy and very competent. They are following a calling to help others the way they have been helped to heal and learn sexually. And all of them can make mistakes, or inadvertently trigger painful memories. Occasionally Somatic Sex Educators can be misguided, or lack appropriate boundaries. To work effectively with a Somatic Sex Educator, you need to notice when things feel wrong, and speak up. Ask your practitioner immediately to stop and change the activity or the plan for your sessions. (Practitioners should also be coaching you and helping you feel empowered in your choice and voice.)

□ Are you building a community? Ask your Somatic Sex Educator to tell you about workshops and help you find groups that you can participate in. Don’t become dependent on a single practitioner. Create a “sexual wholeness” community.

Checklist developed with thanks to Sunyata Satchitananda –

In order to fully support clients in their journey, all Certified Sexological Bodyworkers abide by a Code of Ethics from the  Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers.

Praise for Melissa

I was often burdened by the frequent sense of pressure and frustration as if an impending doom was near. Much of the anxiety was brought on by stress and daily experiences with simple obstacles like heavy traffic. Going into our first session with Melissa, I was very nervous but it seemed as if no time passed before I felt an overwhelming feeling of relaxation. By the time our 2nd session was completed, my boyfriend began to notice a night and day resolution with my anxiety that I wasn’t even detecting.  For instance driving which use to bring me great anxiety was now more calm and a sense of relief was almost immediate.  Thanks to her help, I can resort back to the teachings and reassurance that I have the power to control my anxiety in life.

Mac Brown
Idaho Dep. of Labor

Melissa’s experience  and professionalism really shows in your manner and developing technique. I really appreciated how she guided me through what I thought was an open and shut case to coax out a real obstacle that I had sublimated.  Melissa has real talent for this endeavor and should be proud. “What use to be an obstacle is an open door!

Raymond Allen
Business Coach

My hypnotherapy sessions with Melissa had a profound effect on me.  I had asked her for a session because I could feel something was amiss with my energy… Melissa helped me track it down and bring a huge huge HUGE life trauma into focus and completion… She held a space of unconditional love and warm strength the whole time. It made me feel a real sense of deep caring from her that permeated the whole session and helped me find peace with this issue for myself.  I can truly say that thanks to her work, I finally was able to bring a deep wound from childhood to full resolution and peace.  The freedom I feel is unfathomable, hard to believe I’ve been living with it, this trauma energy, all this time.  The gratitude I feel for her is equally infinite.   She is a joyful being with a deep inner-standing of the subconscious realms and a genuine care for people and their well-being.

Kayt P.
Singer-songwriter and body worker / Sedona AZ

I highly recommend working with Melissa. Her incredible talent can unleash your amazing hidden resources and make a great impact in improving your life… After Melissa’s session, I felt as a huge weight felt from my shoulders. Like a harmful weed was weeded from my heart and my soul, leaving a shiny space for lots of wonderful things in my life.” – Bestselling author of “Taste of Thoughts®. Improve Your Health and Whole Life,”  #1 International Bestselling Author of collaborative book “The Secret Success Solution. Get Solid Results in 22 Areas of Business and Life.

Dr. Irina Koles, M.D.
International Bestselling Author

My coaching experience with Melissa was extremely open & supportive during this exercise. It felt like I could say anything, and I was really encouraged to speak my truth & dream big.

Debra Mazer
Raw Food Chef / Agape Choir / Life Coach

Thank YOU so much for your contribution to the Goddess Grove at Lucidity Festival. My heart was opened, my spirit livened, and my Divine Feminine enriched.

Allyson Gomez
Lucidity Festival

…I feel like anytime I talk to you I get this instant boost of motivation and balance. thank you so much mango, you may be my second spirit animal.

Boise Idaho