Green juices, salt scrubs and colonics are a few of the things that may come to mind when you hear the word Detox. Unless of course you’re a Dr. Dre fan. Never mind.
Much like our physical bodies accumulating toxins from our environment, the foods we eat and and other lifestyle choices; relationships are no different.
Relationships especially one that has come to an end can often leave us feeling sluggish, exhausted, bloated and in need of some healing.
When a relationship comes to an end, it’s time to start fresh and release the baggage.
Clear the slate.
Detox your mind, body and spirit and for heaven’s sake….
Set fire to the bed so that the new you; The majestic phoenix may rise from the smoldering ashes!
Well.. it doesn’t have to be that dramatic you get my drift.
It’s time to Detox!
Once the decision to part ways is clear it is vital to cleanse and purify thyself and your surroundings! Doing so will not only make it easier for you to move on, it will help also you truly heal and be able to be in a neutral space for when you are ready for new love or at the very least a new person to have fun with.
Bringing someone new into your life, your home and your bed when there is still residual gunk or left over physically or metaphoric baggage from your previous relationship doesn’t work.
Here are some detox tips for you cleansing yourself and your space.
Clean the wound: Let Go
Ya gotta do it. Cold turkey. Don’t be a stalker on FaceSpace because this won’t help your healing process instead it will piss you off. Keeping in touch with someone you are trying to heal after is like keeping the cookies in the fridge when you are trying to do a food detox. Even if things end on a “good” note and ya’ll are friends and all chummy, it is still a great idea to take some space, and rebalanced. Chances are there is always someone hanging on in some form or another and FaceSpace is a breeding ground for this type of crap. If things ended not-so-nice than it should be a top priority to reclaim your personal space and privacy and make a request they they do not contact you (for now) and for you to keep your stalker tendencies (if there are any) in check. Refrain from asking other people about them, how they may be doing and such unless of course you are genuinely curious and not triggered and all bent out of shape about it. It really is best to go cold turkey from your Ex, clean the wound, let some fresh air on it and let that initial healing begin. You don’t want scar tissue do you?
Ever wonder why when your nose picks up a familiar scent, an image, memory or emotion will surface?
Did you know that scents and smells send messages and get stored in the limbic part of the brain which is connected to our emotions?
I felt the gravity of this when I was at a friends house while they were doing laundry. When my friend plopped a bundle of warm and fresh-out-of-the dryer clothes onto her bed; out of the blue; I remembered a high school sweetheart. It caught me completely off guard! When I smelled the fabric softener that was the same as what he had used, my brain took me back to that familiar place where the last time I had smelled that familiar smell.
This can have opposite effects when you smell a familiar smell and are taken back to a memory of say an Ex or to a time in your life that was difficult like when a break up occurs.
For this reason I tell friends and clients to begin re-imprinting pleasant scents as they remove and release the one’s that may be attached to a memory or person you are trying to heal from.
Perfume: An ex of mine had the audacity to leave behind (as a parting gift of course) a shirt he wore all the time (which I fucking loved) along with his distinct cologne. I pitched it in the trash for good reason and if your ex did this or you are hanging on to a cologne, body spray or essential oil that reminds you of them in any capacity, I’d recommend letting it go- giving it a proper burial. When healing your heart it is best to clear out the old scents and bring in some new ones.
A few weeks ago I was getting ready to go out and I put on my favorite essential oil. my ex always complimented me on the scent and I noticed how when I put it on months after our breakup, it would trigger a memory ( both good and bad ) of him and of us together. I love this essential oil and it isn’t cheap! But for the sake of moving on and starting fresh- I let it go. Mommas got a new scents now.
Remember that scents are powerful messages to our minds and bodies. So start fresh and replace things that may be holding some memory such as laundry detergents, incense, candles, and even scented shower products you may have used together when in partnership.
Physical space Detox
Set that bed on fire! metaphorically that is.
Furniture: If you are able, I’d recommend moving and repositioning furniture around your home and especially in your bedroom. Even if it is something simple like the angle of the bed or the addition of a chair or end table. This will help shift the energy a bit and give you literally a physical sense of completion and fresh start!
Possessions: When I went through my breakups it was hard to still have some of their things in my possession or have a house full of things we had gathered together. Things like their tooth brush they purposely left in my cabinet, poems or love letters they had written, things we purchased together such as blankets or sex toys. I recommend loading these things that are attached to them in some way into a box (or truck if that’s the case) and clearing it out! Return to your Ex what is theirs such as clothing, CDs (yes these things exsist still), books borrowed, their favorite cup etc. Outta site- outta mind is a great healing tool. If for some reason you gave their personal things back but are still not ready to let go of thing they gave you or wrote to you- try putting these items in a box and move it into a garage or place out of your living space so you can clear your personal space and being the healing process free from those memories. In a few months, if it isn’t too painful you can go back and see if your finally ready to tossing that shit in a dumpster or have a bond fire. who knows- sometimes we need time to let things go fully. Some things do need to be burned. Good riddance.Your self care
Hair: Cha cha changes: Women (and some men) are notorious for chopping off their hair when a substantial life change takes place such as when a relationship ends. When you chop off your hair, there can be a sense of newness. A real sense that “things are different dammit and I look fucking great!” and maybe a hair cut is exactly what you need!
Not into cutting your hair off when it’s time to move on? Here are a few other ways you can get that sense shit it different and you’re fucking hot!
Medicure & pedicure: great looking toes are immediate physical proof that your are walking a different life 😉
Facial and full body massage
Hot spring soak
All girl road trip and like Paul Simon poetically advised “Drop off the key lee and get yourself free!”https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Photo Credit: www.Lorensworld.com